What Are You Doing Here?, Story No. 9

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Inspired by the testimonies of others and the invitation given to me a few weeks ago to share my own, I have created this space on my blog to share My Story. Here is the introduction and an invitation to read along as I share My Life's Stories to give a Testimony of God's Goodness. Along the way, I hope you will also be inspired and equipped to start recording your story. ​

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The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
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Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

​Choosing a verse or life motto is not uncommon. It is a way to put up some guardrails on the pathways of our thoughts, dreams and planning for the future. Even a single word can help us focus, giving us a guide for what to say “no” to and what to say “yes” to. I like words. I like focus. I also really like a plan. And as much as I personally like to make deviations from plans, I only like those deviations I choose--the ones that I believe adjust the plan but still keep my feet heading the intended direction of my heart.

In today’s, My Story, post I share about a time in my life when fighting to both adjust and stay the course meant to settle in for a longer season in a place neither my husband nor I had imagined we would stay long. We’d come “home” after years overseas with some pretty specific answers to the questions: What are you doing here?

And over the course of a few years, made significant progress toward some of those aims, and watched as God took the sick loved ones we’d come home to take care home to heaven. Which landed us back at: What are you doing here? ​

You can read the story below to find the answer God gave us for this question back in 2015. His answer was specific, yet took nearly two years to fulfill. And as I write this intro today, nearly five years later, I realize that this question--What are you doing here?--continues to guide us.

I will be honest, even after eight years of being set in this current location, actively pursuing God’s purpose for my life on Douglas Street, there are days when this question is not a voice of courage, or a gentle wind soothing my anxious soul. Some days I turn the question around to God and it leaves my lips in exasperation--with hands thrown in the air like a teen full of angst and frustration--I ask God, What am I doing here?

​I imagine my angst and frustration would be a 2 out of 10 in comparison to Elijah’s, to whom this question was spoken in, 1 Kings 19:11-13 . God sent Elijah to a place inhabited by a people who were in desperate need of God, but who found their fill from idols and destructive ways of living. Elijah’s life was his answer to the question God asked. He spent his days using his words to get the people’s eyes and hearts pointed back toward God. But they wouldn’t listen, and even when God revealed his presence and power through mighty acts of his hands, the people still ignored the invitation to let God be the one and only true God of their worship.

Elijah was doing what he had been set in his place to do. And yet, his life was under threat, he had no co-laborers in his ministry, and he finds himself on a desolate mountain, a 40 day journey from home, waiting on the voice of God to direct his steps. I don’t think it is implausible to imagine that Elijah is hoping that when the Lord speaks it will be with a new assignment or permission to be done trying to lead God’s people back to His heart.

And what does God speak to Elijah? ​

After a powerful wind, an earthquake, and a fire (all of which the Lord was not in) came a still small voice. And that voice asked Elijah the question: What are you doing here?

No pep talk. No single word or phrase to interpret. No statement of permission to abort the mission. Just a question. ​

A question that gave Elijah space and permission to pour his heart out to God and confess his frustrations and loneliness. He didn’t even ask for permission to quit. But he made his loneliness known. He set his need in front of the Lord. And the verses that follow reveal that God responds to Elijah’s need with instructions on how to find a teammate to continue his assignment as a prophet to his people. ​

​In my life, especially over the last five years, this question--What are you doing here?--has been instrumental in my continued search to understand and navigate my calling and gifts well even when I can’t see clearly that this really is where I am supposed to be right now. Sometimes this question brings quiet reflection. Sometimes this question makes me angry. But on both ends of the emotional spectrum on which my thoughts swing, I have found that God is faithful in providing me with direction, new ideas, and peace--often after a metaphorical wind, earthquake and fire shake up my heart and rattle my thoughts.

How about you? ​

What are you doing here?

After the wind calms, the earthquake settles, and the fire of your emotions and thoughts subside, do you hear that still small voice asking you, What are you doing here? 

Will you answer God honestly, like Elijah, and voice your thoughts and needs. Yes, he already knows them. He didn’t ask Elijah this question because he didn’t know what was happening on earth. His question was a gift to Elijah--an opportunity for Elijah to build a two-way relationship with God and receive from the Lord an action plan for how to continue on mission. ​

How can we help each other hear God and lean on Him for direction? 

One way would be to insert this question--What are you doing here?--in to our conversations, prayers, and devotional times. As you consider the ever popular question that comes up at New Years--What is your New Year’s Resolution?--perhaps you can turn the conversation in a different direction and ask, What are you doing here?

And then wait, and listen for what those around you express as their mission and the needs they have in completing what God has set them in this time and place to fulfill. There may be feelings like strong winds, emotions like earthquakes, and words like fire that come before the quiet voice. God can handle those. And He waits for them to pass before he speaks. And when they do, He simply asks, What are you doing here?

Can we do the same for others? Can we give them the gift of this question too?

What are you doing here?

How one answers this question will be an indicator of the desires of her heart and visions in her mind. Secondly, allowing oneself time and quiet space to wait on the Lord for an answer is  an opportunity to speak to God and hear from God, letting Him know you see your calling and your need and are ready for Him to give you direction on how to persevere in the plans He has for you. ​

Find your mountain cave place. Wait on the Lord. He will come. He will guide. He sees you right where you are. God still speaks. Will you be honest with the answers you give to His questions? ​

​He comes to your cave-like spaces to help you see He is your God, your creator and your answers matter to him. And his answers to you will give you the strength to press on in all he has for you this year.

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Pixar-Style Testimony
What Are You Doing Here?, Story No. 9

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• Once upon a time, there was a couple who no longer fit in the young category. They weren’t so much in the seasoned category either. They had had their share of struggle in the last few years: the death of loved ones, loss of place, fogginess of vision, lack of contentment, and loneliness.

• Every day, they believed God would reveal to them it was time for a new season to begin. Every day they wondered how long their feet would need to stay planted on the ground of this place that was clearly becoming home to their children but not a place they had intended to stay long. They wrestled with the when, and the where, and the how of knowing God’s will and calling and purposes. Yet, in the wife’s heart, there was a settling beginning, a recognition that no matter where her feet were planted her calling was the same--love God, love his people. Her zip code didn’t change that. Her season of life wouldn’t negate that. She had begun to see, mostly through Bible study and IF:Gathering teachings, how perhaps this place could be where they were to be planted at least just a bit longer.

• One day, while on a walk around their neighborhood with their little tribe of 3, a son age 6, and daughters ages 2 and 4, the husband dropped the words “time to move on” and “possibly back oversees” and “is this season coming to an end?” into some sort of paragraph, but the wife only heard it in bits and pieces because she literally, in the truest sense of the word, had just weeks before begun to let her heart settle on letting this place and the people around her be her place and her people. 

• Because of that, she turned to him and said, “What?. . You are not being serious. For 2 years I have been asking how it would ever be possible to live out our call to missions or our values for adventure and learning from experiencing new people and places could be met here. I wrestled with God like Jacob and this is how the wrestling match ends. . . with me being ready to settle in right when you are ready to ask God to show us what and where next?” They walked on, mostly in silence aghast at how far away they felt from being on the same page with one another.

• Because of that, they decided to revisit the many reasons they had chosen to move home years earlier. On the list were things like, reconnect with family, grow deeper relationships with parents and siblings, give children a sense of home in their passport country, care for sick family members, and live in a place without 36 teenagers down the hall. But right there at the bottom of the list was one reason that had gotten so far tucked away it had nearly been forgotten altogether. Prior to becoming pregnant with their third child, a process that took many, many months longer, and produced many more tears and frustrations than the first two times around, they had begun to invest time understanding the adoption process in Korea. In the midst of learning that it was next to impossible to adopt a Korean child while living in Korea as an American citizen, becoming pregnant, resigning from their jobs as dorm parents, moving across the world, they had completely forgotten about the great burden that had once rested on their hearts. The answer was clear, it was not time to move because the mission of returning “home” had not yet been fully completed. Research and prayer to understand this calling to adopt began.

• Until finally, the actual process began, sparked by a conversation on the playground with a mom who had just brought home her youngest daughter through adoption. Her experience and insight gave the couple the information and courage they needed to step into a 2-year process of bringing home their youngest son through adoption. This journey would not only complete their family, but it grew in them a deep, deep sense of appreciation and gratitude for the community of people who surrounded them with support in raising the necessary money to bring a child home. The body of Christ met their needs, spurred them on, and changed their lives. And in the midst of it all, it became obvious that God nestled into this experience a truth they needed to be reminded of--he sends his people to be the physical representation and evidence of the power of heaven and redemption at work on this earth. And when the members of the Church sacrifice for one another, miracles happen, and orphans are given homes. And the members on the receiving end learn to believe there is NOTHING that God cannot provide for. Nothing.

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Questions for Reflection:

1. What are you doing here?
2. How will you know you are being honest with the answers you give to God or others when they ask you this question? ​
   
3. How can you help others hear God and lean on Him for direction? ​

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Stay tuned . . . Coming next, Story No. 10, The Adoption of a Son

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Photo credit: Abby & Brandon
Event: Go & See Retreat Spring 2019 
Location: Lake Darling Resort, Alexandria, MN
Caption: Jaclyn doing one of the many things she loves: inspiring, instructing, and encouraging women to live out of who God made them to be, no matter their season, location or vocation. ​