An Unexpected Redemption, Story No. 7

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Inspired by the testimonies of others and the invitation given to me a few weeks ago to share my own, I have created this space on my blog to share My Story. Here is the introduction and an invitation to read along as I share My Life's Stories to give a Testimony of God's Goodness. Along the way, I hope you will also be inspired and equipped to start recording your story. ​​​​​​

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I have stared long and hard at a blank page and blinking cursor, trying to come up with words that articulate accurately the memories and emotions that flood my mind when I consider the content of today’s My Story, "An Unexpected Redemption." 

• How do I tell you of the magnitude of unexpected healing--not of the body but of the soul? 
• How do I show you my most tender motherhood moment--a moment I had no idea how much I needed? 
• How do I communicate the beauty of chains being broken--ones that I didn’t even know bound me? 
• How do I wrap up in just a few words the tangibleness of the promise of deliverance that God provides--not just for our souls, but for all the human parts of who we are too?

Perhaps I start with this word--redemption. 

If I asked you to define this word, redemption, I am guessing you’d provide something along the lines of, “the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil.” Which is very accurate and most certainly true. But what I have learned, especially through the experience you will read about below, is that redemption is not simply reserved for our moments of error, sin or evil. There is so much more power to be discovered in the grace of this word. 

Sometimes there are things that happen to us that bind us up and hold us captive in such subtle ways that we may not be consciously aware of their hold on our emotions or mind. Our soul is lacking in wholeness because of them but we have no idea that these little spaces of loss are there and in need of redemption. There is just this little piece of hurt that rests below the surface--undetected, unnamed, yet vulnerable to the arrows of the evil one. ​

Until the light comes and shines on them. Until healing enters through the most unlikely person, place or experience. Until the truth of Scripture moves from mind to heart to tangible representations in the testimony of our real, actual life. ​

Redemptive relationships. Redemptive experiences. Redemptive places. ​

And it is these light-shining-bright, healing, Scripture-coming-to-life parts of our life’s story that usher in a kind of redemption that doesn’t just save but restores, refreshes, and renovates the rooms of our memories and soul that are barren, boarded-up or broken-down.  ​

You see, what I learned through the birth of my third baby was that redemption isn’t just for the day you choose to follow Christ and accepted his grace. Christ’s blood is still active--a flowing river of grace that covers every single part of your life. Redemption didn’t just come to save you from hell, it came to restore every morsel of who you are so that you can live full of freedom, power, and in wholeness. ​

• How did this part of my story teach me this?
  
• ​How did my soul feel and my eyes see redemption in a way I hadn’t fully grasped before? ​

Photo Credit: Kristina Malkovich

A doctor. A doula. A back-up doula/birth photographer. A baby. A delivery. A promise from Scripture. And an intimate God who is intricately involved in the miracle of birth and the miracle of setting a soul free to trust He is who He says He is. A God who says, ​

“I see a lie you are believing that you don’t even see. And in my goodness, I am going to set you free from it. I am going to show you through this experience, these people, this place that I am your deliverer. You can trust me. You think you are being strong by telling yourself you will just take life as it comes and be thankful for what you have. But I am saying, I sent Christ for more than that kind of life and that way of thinking. I came that you might see that I see what you don’t see. I see what is holding you back. True strength is to know my promises and claim them--not just over your life’s journey, but over the human moments that make up your life.”

On November 28, 2012 a baby girl was set in my arms immediately after she came into the world. This was a moment I had never known. I believed I would be just fine if I never experienced this specific kind of moment because I thought that was trust. When I gave birth to my oldest I waited nearly four hours to meet him. And my second baby, I also had to wait for hours to meet her too. I had no idea how much missing out on the first few hours of my first children’s lives had hurt me until that day Elim Jo was set in my arms within seconds of being born.

Unexpectedly, I began to cry. I was completely overwhelmed and caught off guard. The tears were shed in gratitude of a safe, surgery-free delivery. They rolled down my cheek as I felt the truth of God’s nearness.  Later, I would realize my tears were also for the loss of these moments that I didn’t get with my older children. I didn’t know what I had missed with them until I had it that day with baby Loween #3.

But God knew. He knew that hurt was deep, set in the uncultivated place of my heart and he used this precious moment to dig it up and help me see it. The ground that was dug up that day was ready to be planted with the seeds of some promises I hadn’t had the strength to fully claim or believe in before--redemption and deliverance. I had been praying for a safe delivery of my daughter, but God knew I needed my own deliverance of heart, mind, and soul. I needed to see he was redeeming those lost moments from my past experiences.

As you read the Pixar Storytelling version of this part of My Story, I pray that you too will consider reflecting on a promise of God that is hard for you to find the strength to claim. I pray too that you will be inspired to go to Scripture and find every verse you can that relates to the promise you need to claim for what you face right now. And I pray that on the day he answers your prayers with an experience, a relationship or a place that his answer will go deeper into the soil of your soul than you can even imagine.

You and me, we serve and worship a God who rescues us through miraculous and human experiences. A God who has given us promises He will keep. A God who has redeemed us at the cross. A God who never stops redeeming us from both the seen and unseen things that wound, bind or hold us captive. ​

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Pixar-Style Testimony
An Unexpected Redemption, Story No. 7

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• Once upon a time, there was a young mom, three months away from giving birth to her third child. Her oldest and middle children had been born in a hospital where the nurses spoke no English, the doctor’s English was limited and the technology and practices not quite as advanced as the place she would soon deliver her prayed for, long-awaited third child. This precious on would be born in her home country.

• Every day, she wondered why she had to leave the comfort of the foriegn country where she had become a mother, the doctor she loved and the place that had been the location of their first home as a family. ​

• One day, her OBGYN, asked why she had had c-sections with her first two children. She explained the circumstances and the reasons. But even after hearing the stories of the emergency and planned c-sections, the doctor said confidently, “Have you considered having a VBAC?” This American-born but foreign to the ways of women and their birthing plans in America requested an explanation of what the doctor meant. She said, “You mean I have a choice. I have an option to not have a c-section.” To which the doctor replied, “Yes. Do some research and let me know what you think once you’ve had time to think about.”

• Because of that, this third-time mother felt like she knew nothing! She researched and phoned friends and prayed and prayed. Based on her findings and God’s peace she decided that if she went into labor naturally, she’d request a VBAC delivery.

• Because of that, she went in search of a doula, and actually ended up with two. She was going to have two women coaching her through birth and be in a hospital in which everyone spoke English! What in the world was this going to feel like? She also felt that this path for her was going to be more than a physical journey. It was going to be deeply spiritual and needed to be covered in the claiming of God’s promises and prayers for a healthy and safe delivery. VBACs come with risks and she wasn’t going to ignore that. So she read the book of Psalms, writing out in her journal, and later onto note cards any verse that spoke of the promise of God to be a protector and a deliverer. She read them, prayed them, re-wrote them and claimed them over herself and her child.

• Until finally, four days late, but just on time, labor began. It had been over five years since she had felt such pains. And back then she hadn’t a clue what to expect or what was going on. When her oldest son was born, she hadn’t even read a birthing book or taken a Lamaze class. (Just so happens when living in a foreign country such things aren’t readily available.) But this time, she was armed with the word of God, the strength of motherhood, and a team of support, so she took a nap--only to wake up a few hours later nearly ready to deliver. And even though her body was ready, and the doulas prayed faithfully over her, reminding her of the very promises she had written down, after hours of pushing the baby’s arrival was still TBA. She turned to the doctor and said, “I guess my body just isn’t made for this. I think you need to order a c-section. Exhaustion is taking over me.” Turns out the doctor on duty that day (also an endurance athlete like this young mama) wasn’t willing to give up that easily. She said, “How about we try one more thing first?” Then she acquired her instruments, accomplished her plan and said, “Push one more time.” And walla, a precious baby girl was safely delivered to a momma who had never experienced the moment of having her baby handed to her in the delivery room. She cried giant, silent tears because in this moment she didn’t just know, she felt the truth deep in her being that God had used this moment to show her to never give up on His promises, to always believe that He delivers, protects and provides more than we ask for or imagine is possible in our hardest and darkest days.

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Questions for Reflection: 

1. What part of your story helps you see God’s redemption starts at the cross but also extends to the broken moments of your human experiences on this earth? 
2. What part of your story helps you claim God’s promise to be your deliverer?

I said, ‘Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the LORD, that he may come and shower righteousness upon you.’  (Hosea 10:12, NLT)

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Stay tuned . . . Coming next, Story No. 8, Grieving the Loss of Place 

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Photo credit: Abby & Brandon
Event: Go & See Retreat Spring 2019 
Location: Lake Darling Resort, Alexandria, MN
Caption: Jaclyn doing one of the many things she loves: inspiring, instructing, and encouraging women to live out of who God made them to be, no matter their season, location or vocation. ​​​