Moving Away & Closer to Home, Story No. 4

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Inspired by the testimonies of others and the invitation given to me a few weeks ago to share my own, I have created this space on my blog to share My Story. Here is the introduction and an invitation to read along as I share My Life's Stories to give a Testimony of God's Goodness. Along the way, I hope you will also be inspired and equipped to start recording your story. ​​​

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awe  /ô/  · noun

1. 1. a feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear or wonder.

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won·der  /ˈwəndər/  ​· noun

1. 1. a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable.

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​These words, “awe” and “wonder” come to mind when I reminisce on the years that make up the in-between of me being an adult and actually becoming one. When I moved away to college, I was an adult--18 years old and independent. But becoming an adult--truly grabbing hold of my faith, interests, purposes, and calling--God did that through letting me experience need, providing me with adventures and setting me in a place to pursue knowledge among peers and professors who made richer my view on life and deepened my understanding of God and others.

No doubt about it, I carried some of my struggles from summer, home and life with me to college (See, My Story, Story No. 3 for more on that). It took me a while to make friends and overcome insecurities. But looking back all these years later, it is the provisions and answered prayers that I remember most. 

• Had I not left, would have I come to a truer understanding of home?
  
• Had I not known loneliness, would have I found rich and life-giving friendships?
  
• Had I not known need, would have I gotten to see God as my provider?
  
• Had I not known chaos, would have I been as well-prepared for motherhood?

In my need and struggle, God, in very obvious and miraculous ways, met me there and showed me the awe and wonder of Himself. Namely, revealing to my soul His ability to be infinity glorious and intimately involved in the ordinarily human needs of my life all at the same time.

My favorite sentence from today's story, Moving Away & Closer to Home, is:

She had learned to embrace uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations with an adventurous spirit that believed no matter where her feet went, God and his purposes for her would be with her.

Why is this one my favorite? 

Because this lesson has carried me through nearly every hard season that has come my way since. When I am shaken (and after I have complained, cried and questioned), I land back here, with this truth: God has a purpose in all that I experience. None of it is without meaning. And I can choose to see what I face as an adventure or an annoyance. When I choose adventure, the uncomfortable becomes a catalyst to comfortably setting my plans and objectives at the cross and praying,

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give me this day what I need. And forgive me as I forgive those around me. Lead me away from the temptation to doubt you and deliver me from any thoughts of evil. Increase my understanding of you and let me never forget the awe and wonder that you’ve set in my soul.

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Pixar-Style Testimony
Moving Away and Closer to Home, Story No.4

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• Once upon a time, there was a young woman ready to move away from home and all that came with living in a small town. As a first step, she ended a long-term relationship she had with a boy she truly enjoyed being around--he made her laugh and he gave her an escape from the tensions at home. But she knew their life goals were not compatible and that she really was wasting his time by leading him to believe their relationship was what she wanted for her life. So on the night she received her high school diploma, she told him the truth. So began one of the hardest summers of her life--living in the between of knowing she was soon leaving everything and everyone behind, but not having gone--wrestling with dreams ahead but wanting to keep holding on to all she had known.

• Every day, she fought her emotions that betrayed her convictions and beliefs that leaving was right. She often failed, felt weak and got back up again. Every day, she reported to work as a janitor at her little town’s school and scrubbed gum from lockers, snot from desk bottoms, and learned that sometimes the gross jobs pay the best. And since her workmates were some of her best friends, it was actually one of the most fun jobs she’d had. ​

• One day, the end of summer came, she packed up her car and her parent’s car and they all drove to Bodien Hall on freshman hill of what was then Bethel College. In a whirlwind of a mere few hours, her setting changed, the reality of knowing not a single person in this new place hit, and she felt very, very small. She realized making new friends wasn’t something she had done much of throughout her life. She tried summer camp one time in fifth grade and hated the experience of spending a week with strangers. Those memories suddenly flashed back to her and she wondered what in the world she was thinking when she decided to attend a school three hours away from home and even more hours away from any of the schools her friends were attending.

• Because of that, by October she had pleaded with her mom several times to come and get her. And even though her mom knew that paying the bill for this private Christian school education was something that made her wonder why her daughter was attending this school, she calmly and consistently reminded her daughter that when she made the decision to attend Bethel that it was because she felt God had asked her to and it was a part of His plan. She reminded her daughter to trust in God and give her new setting some time.

• Because of that, this shy small-town girl stuck it out at the big city school. Never to return home to live again. Not out of bitterness but because she had learned to embrace uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations with an adventurous spirit that believed no matter where her feet went, God and his purposes for her would be with her. During her first summer away from home she traveled to Europe with Rein Ministries as an adult leader for teens who were experiencing the trip as a discipleship program. On this trip, in a campground, among the hills of the countryside of Germany, she led a teen girl through a “track” written in German. The girl accepted Christ by praying the sinner’s prayer. Evangelism had never been on this girls list of “please let me do that when I grow” ideas. And here she was leading someone to Christ. Could there be a more amazing thing to do in the world? No site or adventure could compare to this. She returned to school in the fall with the hopes to add missions as a minor. But also broke because her two-month missions trip had left little time for a summer job. So, she took on three jobs to pay for school and the minor was never added because there wasn’t room in her schedule. Life was a little bit chaotic and she didn’t always know if she’d have money to pay the next semester’s tuition or buy the books she needed.

• Until finally, she settled into believing that God would provide. This was largely a result of God answering prayers for financial resources in miraculous ways--a check here and there arriving from home or from members of her church when she didn’t make her needs known to anyone but God. Life was full, fun and she had never been more in love with Jesus and all he had for her. He was her provider and she grew deeper and deeper in love with him through classes, Bible studies and weekly chapels, and the building of new friendships. Her move away from home had shaken her but God used this shaking to help her set her heart steady on the purposes of her only forever home--the one that has no specified address on this side of heaven.

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Stay tuned. . .Next week, Her Love Story, Story No. 5

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Photo credit: Abby & Brandon
Event: Go & See Retreat Spring 2019 
Location: Lake Darling Resort, Alexandria, MN
Caption: Jaclyn doing one of the many things she loves: inspiring, instructing, and encouraging women to live out of who God made them to be, no matter their season, location or vocation. ​​