Adoption - a Journey toward seeing orphans

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. ~James 1:27

photo the from Korean war

There is an image burned in my brain. An image I hope I never let go of. God has this way of meeting us in the most unlikely places, and at the most unusual times. I wonder if he does this so that we can do nothing but attribute the experience to him and his sovereignty.

Night-time satellite picture depicting the literal darkness of N.K.

I don’t know what you know about North Korea. The media has its story to tell about this desolate country. History books have their story to tell about this communist, dictator-lead country. Satellites show the literal darkness that covers this little hermit country. But North Korea to me represents a place where I was met with a God who had a message for my heart. Why there? Why then? Why in such a way? I have no concrete answers, but I do have some hypotheses.

In the Spring of 2011 my friend Abbey came to visit me in Korea. One of the many great things about having a visitor when living in a foreign country and busy with your work there is that it slows you down and gets you out of your local context and into some the touristy things other people do who come to visit the country. So, since I wanted to show her some cool things, my friend Christie and I organized to take Abbey on a trip up to the DMZ—Demilitarize Zone.

I thought I was simply heading on a tour with my friend to a mysterious place where an imaginary boarder-line separates a country that was once unified: An imaginary boarder-line that separates families. A boarder-line that set seemingly permanent separation between people whose blood cells held matching DNA—whose tongues spoke the same langue. When the 38th parallel line was set, wherever one was on that day, they would remain. Spouses were permanently separated, siblings were sentenced to a life of separation, children were left without a father or mother, patriarchs and matriarchs were stripped of generational ties.

And it was in this place God would show me the depth of pain an orphan faces in the world. So on this plot of ground that most would agree is symbolic of evil and darkness winning, I experienced an intimate and life changing moment with my God. The irony of God astounds me. I think he uses irony to shake us up and help us to see that the borders and boundaries and reputations of people and places on earth do not matter to him. He says, I see all places and people as redeemable and pregnant with hope and restoration. He means it when he says, there is no place we can run from his love. There is no place he would not go to bring us to an understanding of him and his call on our lives. There is not a corner of the earth where he does not exist. The darkness can try to shut him out, but it will not. He is a God in hot pursuit of lost, lonely, forgotten, trapped and helpless—which to some degree we all are, even if not physically. And his plan for reaching the orphaned in the world is our hands and hearts. We are his instruments of chase. We are his way of connecting the holiness of heaven to the plight on earth.

I wish that I could say this was something I have understood all of my Christian life. I wish that I could say that the reason I pursued a life overseas was because I understood my call to reach the heart of the lost, destitute and completely alone. I understood the call to reach hearts for Jesus—I was passionate about allowing my classroom to be a place of such work. But the economic standing of those in front of me on a daily basis did not represent the poor. Some were certainly poor in spirit and relationships. So, I was very much on mission. But Mark 25:33-40 was very metaphorical in my life.
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​And then I went to the DMZ as a tourist. I wasn’t on a spiritual journey. I didn’t wake up that morning asking God to make himself real to me that day. I was actually quite satisfied with all that God had given me. I had an amazing husband, an awesome ministry, and two beautiful children, and my dear friend had taken time and money to come and visit me—I was feeling pretty full and blessed. And then I set foot on eerie ground and God shook me up.

Click on image to view someone else's Youtube DMZ tour footage

During a part of our tour of the DMZ we were shown footage of the Korean war. As we watched the images of the children caught in the cross-fire ripped my heart apart. And in that little tourist-filled theater I heard God say, “this is an image of every orphan: Every orphan is in a war-zone, crying out for someone to come and bring them to safety. They are looking around only to see the world crashing around them.” The images burned in my brain.  I didn’t understand what God was doing with me. But once I understood the face of the orphan, my service to the rich changed too. That was a start.  
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But since our life was in a comfortable and abundant stage, I didn’t think much about actual orphans needing homes. I tucked that little experience away for several months.
Then the trials started. We struggled to decide on if we should have more children. I desperately wanted to birth more babies. But our life was so full we just didn’t know if we could handle three little lambs and thirty-six teenagers (we were dorm parents the time). We wrestled with our hearts, with each other’s ideas and our future plans. But we decided to trust that if it was so heavy on my heart to have another child that God would provide. One month passed, two months, three months, four months…conceiving our other children had not taken this long. Were we wrong? Was God not in favor of us having another baby? I began slipping into discouragement and questioning.

Or was he trying to bring me back to the seed he planted in my heart the year before?
God, in his awesome sovereignty, led me to a website one day. I don’t even remember how I got there. But on this website an adoption seminar was being advertised. Coincidence? I don’t think so. We signed up. We made plans to go.  We waited to see what God would show us there. Then Mike got super sick and we nearly cancelled. But we were already on our way so he decided he was going to be puking either place, so we might as well go.
 
At the Hope for Orphans: If You Were Mine conference we began to see how God’s plan for adoption would someday be a part of our lives. We were informed on both the blessings and challenges of adoption. We left wondering our next steps because adopting at the place in life we found ourselves seemed impossible. No one seemed to have figured out how an American living in Korea could adopt a child there—the system was just not designed for such things. So we left both excited and sad, because it didn’t seem like there was going to be clear road to bringing a child into our home. So, we prayed, researched and waited…and a few months later found ourselves pregnant. A few months after that, we found ourselves packing up our seven years of life and ministry in Korea and heading “home” to Alexandria.

Then came some dark days, weeks, and months. The move “home” shook me to my core. I was shaken up and sifted. Some things had to be loosed—which is a painful but brilliant process.  God was revealing what I needed to keep hold of and what needed to be let go.
This last summer Mike ended up in a discussion speculating our journey's next path.  I was a little taken back, okay, shocked when he mentioned future plans. I had literally just let my heart settle into being happy and purposed in Alexandria weeks prior--I am a slow adjuster guys. Hard to believe for someone who loves travel and living overseas. 

As the days passed, we both had time to mull over the idea of what was ahead, and our conversation moved to examining the reasons we had moved “home” and whether or not we had met the goals we had set four years ago upon deciding to move. As we talked through our aims in moving state-side, the big one that stuck out to us as not accomplished yet was adoption. How had we missed this obvious call? How had we been so ready to move on without seeking this through? I would blame a few things. Highest on the list: distractions and amnesia. The first of which there is no diagnosis or prescription. The second of which, is simply a hyperbolic metaphor for distraction to the point of forgetfulness. 

A few months ago my heart’s connection to the orphan was awakened. The image from so many years prior began coming back to me. I began hearing about adoption everywhere I turned. Clearly, God was not letting me let this go and also letting me know that we needed to make a move now—waiting until the “right” time could mean waiting forever, and missing his call. Our life with three children and ministry will never be smooth or easy, but God calls us to obedience anyway. And just because we are called does not mean the path will be easy and obstacle free. In-fact, if this is an act of the the kingdom coming down to earth, the devil will make every attempt to thwart it. So, we will lean into what we know and believe about God's love, power and sovereignty and trust he will equip us to walk this journey of adoption. 
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It is with great joy that we can announce that God has already set-up our adoption journey's path and allowed us to start walking it. After research, discussion and prayer, Mike and I have begun the pursuit of bringing a specific little boy home. After our first inquiry, we thought the door was closed. But one week later, He said, “Yes, start walking this road.”  And so we are…stay tuned to watch how God brings our son home to his earthly forever home with us. Please pray for our protection, peace,  financial provision and favor with the legal systems. And if you want to see his beautiful face, stop in and I will show it to you. 

Resources to explore more about caring for orphans: 
Kay Warren: The Churches Role in the Orphan Crisis: http://kaywarren.com/orphans-and-the-church/

Hope for Orphans: Resources and Classes: http://hopefororphans.org/home/

10 Ways to Support Orphans (pdf): http://www.hopefor100.org/pdfs/10waysposter.pdf

Orphan Sunday: http://orphansunday.org

Show Hope: 4 Things the Bible Says About Orphans: http://showhope.org/4-things-the-bible-says-about-orphans/