The Place In Between What You Choose

It is in the in-between place that I am often most receptive to the still small voice of God. And even though every time I am invited in to the in-between place, I resist wanting to be there, it is this place that God uses to remind me he sees me, he is speaking to me and I can trust him to be good and be my God and to guide my steps into greater things than I could ask for or imagine. ​

​Can we all agree on one thing: this season we are walking in has brought to the surface the reality that we are not in control of our lives. This has always been true, but when our environment, socioeconomic status, and plans for the future comfortably align with our hopes and dreams, it can be easy to forget that we don’t hold the world in our hands--we aren’t the author’s of our destiny. ​

And then, when culture shifts, or finances plummet or we find ourselves living in a story that is unfolding a future we didn't plan or imagine, the facade breaks down and we have a choice to make:

1. trust God and realign our hearts with His sovereignty and the truth that he holds the world in his hands--and this is for our good, or 
2. put our trust in other things, people systems or ideas and fight to defend those things, hoping that with enough grit and knowledge we can fight our way back to the environment, socioeconomic status or future we depended on for our peace.

Somewhere in between those two choices is the mourning of the loss of the way of life we had been planning on. Somewhere in between those two choices are days and days of questions, prayers, pleas and searching. And those in-between days are hard, but they are good. Those in-between days shake our faith, rattle our ideas and plough up the tender places of our hearts. ​

The in-between place can be full of numbness, pain or a longing to just head straight to heaven. ​

Friend, believe me, I know the in-between place; days, weeks, months and years of building up the strength necessary to have the level of self-control, stoutness of heart, and faith to enable both my mind and heart to choose option number one more often than I choose option two.

Recently, I was again given the opportunity to practice choosing trust and the admission that God is in control and His plans are good, for those who love and honor him. Hopes and plans I had for the future were not panning out and I was frustrated--especially because I thought these plans would greatly benefit others and honor God. And even though I have had a lot of practice choosing trust, my thoughts went tailspinning and I was back at that all too familiar place of the in-between. ​

And here is what I have also learned about the in-between place--God meets me there every time. When I get to the in-between place I often get very, very quiet and sullen. I struggle to engage with the life happening around me, mostly because my mind is running through all the ways others or I could’ve prevented the disruptions to the plans -- or how others I could “fix” what has gone wrong. But it is when I get really quiet and retreat that I also pay very close attention to what I hear, dream about and the first thoughts I have when I wake up. ​

It is in the in-between place that I am often most receptive to the still small voice of God. And even though every time I am invited in to the in-between place, I resist wanting to be there, it is this place that God uses to remind me he sees me, he is speaking to me and I can trust him to be good and be my God and to guide my steps into greater things than I could ask for or imagine. ​

​Oftentimes it is my life story of growing up in the church that God uses to speak to me his truth and his peace. So for those of you with littles at home, don’t doubt how much impact weekly attendance at church has on the future of your children’s faith. For me, it is the songs that I heard over and over again that often come to mind as God’s voice to me in the in-between place. ​

This morning it was these lyrics--going through my head as my first thoughts of the day, even before my feet hit the floor next to my bed--that the Holy Spirit used to realign my heart with truth. ​

“Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and ever hope to be
Jesus, all for Jesus 
All of my ambitions, hope and plans
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
For it’s only in your will that I am free
For it’s only in your will that I am free 
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into your hands
For it’s only in your will that I am free.”

Y’all, I wish I was artistic and talented enough to let you inside the thoughts that had been swirling around in my brain in the in between place that I hung out in prior to the Spirit bringing these song to mind because so many of the thoughts I was fighting a war against had to do with my ambitions, my hopes and plans. Not just for my life but for the people I love and serve--for the mission and purpose I feel called to and gifted for on this earth. ​

And yet, I am so quick to forget that not a single day, idea or plan is my own. All that I do and happens around me is set inside the precious and amazing sovereignty of a God who truly knows best. His plans cannot be thwarted by me or any other being and I get to choose to trust him or fight for my own way. I get to choose to accept the plans as they unfold or retreat. And he is gracious enough to allow me the place in-between to make that choice. ​

And he extends that same graciousness to you when your environment, socioeconomic status or plans for the future are altered, pulled out from under you or interrupted.  When culture shifts, or finances plummet or we find ourselves living in the story we never planned to be a part of the future we imagined, we have a choice to make:

1.  trust God and realign our hearts with his sovereignty and the truth that he holds the world in his hands--and this is for our good,  or 
   
2. put our trust in other things, people, systems or ideas and fight to defend those things, hoping that with enough grit and knowledge we can fight our way back to the environment, socioeconomic status or future we depended on for our peace.

Friends, what will you choose? ​

​Don’t be afraid to wrestle with God in the in-between. He delights in meeting you there because he knows he has given you the strength, faith and power (through his helper, the Holy Spirit) to enable you to choose to believe in him and trust that in ALL things he is working for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes (Romans 8:28).

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Jaclyn is a wife, mom, educator, visionary, and avid runner who uses her writing to pick up and examine life, culture, faith and running, probing to discover the awe of God who is sovereign over it all. Join her on her journey at jaclynloween.com. She is a firm believer in the powerful, effectiveness of the body of Christ united together to live out theGreat Commission. Because we are stronger, healthier and lovelier when living on mission together, she desires to help others know their unique design and purpose for such a time as this. Invite her to come teach at your event or retreat by heading to her Go & See. page. ​